Hate My Kid

How Do You Let Go and Forgive—Yourself?

I am still reeling from the impact of my own monstrosity hours, even days, later.

Have you ever done something so deplorable, so condemnable, to your child, that you felt as if you might feel guilty for your entire life? I’ve done some pretty stupid, and even awful things with both my sisters, whom I regularly cared for in our childhood, as well as my daughter, that I wish I could take back. While I didn’t inflict bodily harm, sometimes I wonder if the stupid things I’ve done might have even been worse.

Take, for example, the time I practically tortured my little sister by playing Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” until she cried. To this day, she hates the song—and I was about ten or eleven years old, which is definitely old enough to know better. I took both of my sisters to see Scary Movie when I was a teenager and despite the objectionable content, I sat in shock as we watched the film instead of doing the right thing, which was to take them out of that theater! These are some of my biggest regrets, though both of them assure me that “It’s not a big deal.” But what if it really is? Read more about How Do You Let Go and Forgive—Yourself?

Rude Things My Mother-in-Law Has Said

This Woman is Something Else

If you had a chance to read my last post, you know that my Mother-in-Law is pretty hateful. I'm sure plenty of us deal with annoying in-laws, but this lady seriously takes the cake.

My boyfriend is a huge mama's boy, and they have the weirdest relationship I've ever seen. I'm not just saying that; it seriously creeps me out sometimes. We live less than a mile from her, and he sees her every single day. He also calls her about 10 or 12 times a day, no joke, and sends anywhere from 20 to 50+ text messages per day. She frequently invites herself on our dates and was mad that he didn't tell her when we started sleeping together. It's just a little too much to handle.

He has very few friends, and I'm the first serious girlfriend he's ever had. And this man is in his twenties. After meeting his mother, I now understand why. Read more about Rude Things My Mother-in-Law Has Said

Oh Hi, I'm Invisible.

Just Another Example of My MIL Being Hateful

My Mother-in-Law hates me.

Actually, she's technically not my Mother-in-Law since my boyfriend and I aren't married, but whatever. No need to get all technical about it. Married or not, we live together and have a child. Obviously neither of us plans on going anywhere anytime soon.

Since day one, Mommy has been a total you-know-what to me. I used to ignore it. Then I tried to kill her with kindness, sending fresh baked treats and photos of her grandchild her way. Then I gave up - kind of.

My Kid Makes Me Like Things I’d Normally Hate

If you’re familiar with my posts here at Hate My Kid, you know I don’t usually post things that I don’t like about my kid in general. The thing is, I pretty much adore my kid and always have. Sure, there are crazy days when I simply want someone to come and watch her so I can have five minutes to myself; we homeschool so she is with me all of the time. And there are days when we do get angry and yell at one another, too. But overall, we are a pretty genial duo.

That said, there are things about parenting that I would never have predicted from just taking care of my sisters and other children growing up. Sure, I would have kicked butt or died for my younger siblings, whom I cared for every day after school and all day during the summer growing up; but I didn’t mind making fun of their interests in, say, Power Rangers or whatever it was they were into that I thought was stupid. I was their sister, after all, and needling them a bit was part of my sisterly duty! Read more about My Kid Makes Me Like Things I’d Normally Hate

Um, Yeah, You’re Not a Mother

What is the deal with all of these people—usually women, as I’ve encountered them—who claim that they are “like a mother” to such-and-such—a cousin, a friend’s daughter, whomever—but when it all comes down to it, they’ve never worried about said child every moment of every day, prepared said child’s meals more than a couple of times, sat up with said sick child through the wee hours of the morning and the next day and the next, or done anything else remotely parentive (yes, that’s a word I’m making up right now) other than maybe play with the kid and bring him or her a birthday present every year?

That’s a lengthy question to ask, I understand, but honestly I am getting a little tired of these so-called mothers. They’re almost as bad as these people who call their dogs and cats their “babies” and treat them as such, and lament about their behavior as if they are truly children. It’s nice that they care about them so much—I have three cats and a dog, I get it—but it’s nowhere even near the same.

Hey Mom and Dad, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

If there is one thing that really annoys me—well, there are plenty of them, as I’m sure you know, but one thing in particular is when parents lie to their kids for “their own good.” I’m not saying it’s not important to tell a little white lie every now and then, especially if it’s a kindness that’s meant to spare someone’s feelings (such as a thank-you for a gift that wasn’t wanted, or to not tell an elderly family member that she smells like pee). But when you just gratuitously lie to your kids to make your life easier, it’s pretty despicable.

Case in point: we were watching television the other night (this already sounds bad) when a Fiber One cereal commercial came on. We actually like Fiber One in our home; my daughter enjoys the sweet crunchy stuff and we actually pack it in baggies for snacks. But instead of counting on this, the parents in the commercial just figured that their kid wasn’t mature enough to like a cereal that was good for him, so they lied and told him that it was “Number One” cereal instead of Fiber One to get him to eat it—and he did, though he didn’t seem to care one way or another.

Your Group Table is Way More Obnoxious Than My Kid

I am beyond disgusted with these people who complain about kids in restaurants, stores, and the general public. You know the ones I’m talking about—the ones who think that kids are not people, but little creatures to be controlled, perhaps tethered to a leash, and perhaps “seen but not heard.” They’re usually hipsters, self-absorbed singletons, or crotchety old people who never had kids. Read more about Your Group Table is Way More Obnoxious Than My Kid

Peanut Butter Jelly Blu-ray Player

God hates me.

Seriously?

The new Blu-ray player was the best place you could think of to warm up your PB&J?

I guess the allure of the tray popping out was too much for you, and easily drowned out my telling you repeatedly "don't touch the blu-ray player", "don't touch any of daddies toys", "don't touch anything".

I want to beat you but Mommy and I decided before you were born that we would never do that - but my God is it tempting.

What did I do in a past life to deserve this?

I hate my kid. Read more about Peanut Butter Jelly Blu-ray Player

Is He Trying to Make Me Kill Him?

I miss my daughter so much. We homeschool but I rarely see her these days, since my husband is laid off and I have to work more to make up the difference. We made close to the same salaries, but since he also had our benefits, we’re treading lightly, trying to make it and barely keeping our heads above water, dodging phone calls every day (I know we shouldn’t, but it’s so damn depressing to just say, “We still have a bank account in the red”). Read more about Is He Trying to Make Me Kill Him?

I hate YOUR kids.

I should probably start this post by saying I don't really have any kids - yet. I have experienced my fair share of little disease carrying monsters though, and these moments have brought into question my desire to even breed. Read more about I hate YOUR kids.